Omg! Can't believe I haven't blogged in days, I was so determined not to fall off the bandwagon on this one, so ashamed of myself *covers face* I won't even begin to explain myself before I bore you all...
Okay, I read this topic and thought, I got this one sorted....tall, dark or fair (not fussy), handsome like Malcolm in Single Ladies lol, rich and God fearing...... Just joking!!!!!! Honestly, I think having to reduce my extremely long list to five things is just not fair! Okay, okay....getting serious now.
Anyone that knows me well enough would probably tell you what number one on the list would be. He has to love and fear God. That is a non-negotiable for me. It isn't even up for discussion. Abeg, I no wan headache (for my non-Nigerian readers.... I don't need the stress). In my own opinion, a man that loves and fears God will think of how he will be displeasing God if he did something wrong rather than what I would think. So once again, he must love and fear God! Any guys who are reading and were thinking of stepping to me, please kindly delete yourself if you aren't on this p!
Next! Please I know how people say that ermmmm, if the guy likes you, you can work with that even if you don't like him like that *rolls eyes* I must be attracted to him! I don't want to manage. If I have waited this long for a spouse, I ain't settling on this one because attraction is the oil that will keep wheels turning when other things don't. And I don't mean that he has to be super hot, makes me want to melt like butter, bite my lips good looking but I won't say no if he is, lol!
He must be kind hearted and treat people well. Need I say more?
Hardworking and responsible are almost the different sides of the same coin for me. They just seem to go hand in hand and are an attractive trait in a man.
And finally, he must be my friend in every sense of the word. At the end of the day, if all the butterflies in my tummy decide to go on holiday, don't have all the cash and riches we want, blah blah blah (you get the point) but we have friendship, I am a happy bunny :)
And for the record, I do want all the other things that most, if not all ladies want. I want the handsome, rich guy, someone with similar interests, someone who prays, well read, mature, spoils me etc. But I remember that he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God and that God will grant me the desires of my heart if I delight in Him so those things that I haven't listed will be part of the package ;)
Tuesday 15 October 2013
Thursday 10 October 2013
Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
2 posts in the space of hours!!!! *giving myself a pat on the back* lol! If no one will praise me, I'll praise myself.
Today's topic made me smile because I recently had this pity party in front of God where I listed all the things I should have had by this age and time in my life. And you know how God is, He smiled, listened to my whinge and then just reminded me of all that I have at this point in my life that I may not have had if I got all the things I want.
I had all these grand plans that by now, I would have seen more of the world than I have, I would be married with the 2.5 kids, living in a house that was all mine, higher up the career ladder than I am at the moment, I would be doing and changing things on a global platform and so on and so forth......
But I am not any of those things! At least, not today. And I am glad. In fact, I am elated, ecstatic, overjoyed.... What other adjective can I use?
Because the things that I have learnt in the past 3 years of actively desiring those things and more, have made me all that I am. The people I have met, the opportunities that I have had, the places I have seen, the people that I have been able to bless and who have blessed me...... how would that have happened if I had things go exactly my way? I wouldn't trade the past couple of years of my life for anything because God used those times and experiences to make me the woman that I am today. And those experiences are still molding me for the future. Plus who knows? Maybe I might have been a divorced, miserable, out of job mother of one if those things had happened exactly when I wanted them.
We never know what we are being saved or spared from when things don't go our way but I have learnt that when things don't work out as planned such as my life here and now, I just go back to the One who knows it all and say show me, what next :)
The next time you feel like going on and on about where you should be by now, do as my pastor said this past Sunday. Count your blessings one after the other and you might just be amazed at how much you have received and achieved in spite of those things that you think you lack.
Stay blessed and join the challenge just for the fun of it. That's what I am doing.
http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/
Today's topic made me smile because I recently had this pity party in front of God where I listed all the things I should have had by this age and time in my life. And you know how God is, He smiled, listened to my whinge and then just reminded me of all that I have at this point in my life that I may not have had if I got all the things I want.
I had all these grand plans that by now, I would have seen more of the world than I have, I would be married with the 2.5 kids, living in a house that was all mine, higher up the career ladder than I am at the moment, I would be doing and changing things on a global platform and so on and so forth......
But I am not any of those things! At least, not today. And I am glad. In fact, I am elated, ecstatic, overjoyed.... What other adjective can I use?
Because the things that I have learnt in the past 3 years of actively desiring those things and more, have made me all that I am. The people I have met, the opportunities that I have had, the places I have seen, the people that I have been able to bless and who have blessed me...... how would that have happened if I had things go exactly my way? I wouldn't trade the past couple of years of my life for anything because God used those times and experiences to make me the woman that I am today. And those experiences are still molding me for the future. Plus who knows? Maybe I might have been a divorced, miserable, out of job mother of one if those things had happened exactly when I wanted them.
We never know what we are being saved or spared from when things don't go our way but I have learnt that when things don't work out as planned such as my life here and now, I just go back to the One who knows it all and say show me, what next :)
The next time you feel like going on and on about where you should be by now, do as my pastor said this past Sunday. Count your blessings one after the other and you might just be amazed at how much you have received and achieved in spite of those things that you think you lack.
Stay blessed and join the challenge just for the fun of it. That's what I am doing.
http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/
Sound off on the quote 'every woman has the exact love life she wants'
This one made me stop and think. Is this true? Does every woman have the exact love life she wants? And honestly, I had mixed thoughts on this one but with my mind tending more to one side than the other. In a way, she does when she chooses what life she lives. I think I have the love life that I want for now, one where I (and God of course) call the shots. I live alone and can leave my flat in a state and it won't matter cos it's my mess. I can pray all night if I want, although I haven't yet (somehow sleep defeats me on that one). I can wake up at whatever time I want and then be in a mad panic to get ready for work because I kept snoozing my alarm, I can have garri and groundnut for dinner (yes! I do drink garri! Lol!), I can go out with as many or as little men that fancy me and feel no guilt (there's no ring on my left hand) and the list goes on and on...... So yeah, I have the love life that I want right now, a love life loving me ;)
But I am sure the naysayers will be going but what about the woman that is miserable and lonely and single? What about the one who is in an abusive relationship or terrible marriage? What about the woman who just lost her husband or child? What about this, what about that? My answer to those questions is that life throws or dishes all sorts at us, the question is how we CHOOSE to respond because everything in life is a choice! Every one, man and woman, has the choice of the kind of life they want to live. So naysayers, keep on being negative. This babe is of the 1st paragraph mindset and staying there :)
I am loving this blog challenge, if you want to join, the instructions are here http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/
Please leave a comment, would love to hear from you :) and you can follow me on twitter @bunmilicious1.
But I am sure the naysayers will be going but what about the woman that is miserable and lonely and single? What about the one who is in an abusive relationship or terrible marriage? What about the woman who just lost her husband or child? What about this, what about that? My answer to those questions is that life throws or dishes all sorts at us, the question is how we CHOOSE to respond because everything in life is a choice! Every one, man and woman, has the choice of the kind of life they want to live. So naysayers, keep on being negative. This babe is of the 1st paragraph mindset and staying there :)
I am loving this blog challenge, if you want to join, the instructions are here http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/
Please leave a comment, would love to hear from you :) and you can follow me on twitter @bunmilicious1.
Tuesday 8 October 2013
The biggest misconception I think people have about being single
So today is day 5 of the Single Woman's 30 day blogging challenge and the question asked just made me start thinking of all my single pet peeves! I could just feel my mind going back to all sorts of insensitive comments that I have received over the years and in the not too distant past (breathe Bunmi, breathe).
I don't even know which one takes 1st place for being the biggest, most annoying misconception so I am just going to put them all down and let you decide (easy way out). Soooooooo, for me, I think the one that annoys me more than any others, at the moment at least, is that because I am single, I have no opinion on things that relate to marriage and kids. As far as people are concerned, I neither have kids nor have been married so what do I know? Errrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm, excuse me, ever heard of the well of knowledge? *big Nigerian style hiss* anyways! their loss! my gain for future use when I am married and have kids.
Oh! Another one is that because I am single, I have loaddddddddddddsssssss of time and money on my hands. Obviously, with no man and kids to take care of, what could I possibly be busy doing? Obviously I must just be sitting around twiddling my thumbs with absolutely nothing to do *rolls eyes* and for that reason, why must I not come for every church programme or help every Kate, Shawn and Gbemi that needs a lift or help? Or why am I tired when I don't have a house full of man and kids to run? I don't even bother dignifying such comments with an answer anymore, there is no point.
Or that I am single and so there must be something wrong with me *confused face* how does being single automatically relate to having some hang up or fault? Oh! I almost forgot this one! You are single so you must meet this guy, he is single too and really wants to settle down, you guys will get on so well, let me give him your number. It doesn't matter whether or not said man can be dated by said person trying to hook you up (don't let me start my naija style hissing again).
The list could go on and on but let's just be civilised and keep it at this before you all think I am a bitter single person, Actually if you think that, you are entitled to your own thoughts. Who am I to enter your head and change said thought?
For those that think any of the above listed and those not mentioned about single people, please........give singletons the benefit of doubt. And if you can't, keep your opinion to yourself! Same way you don't want a single person telling you how to run your home or take care of your spouse is the same way we singles don't want your opinions on our lives and how we live or don't live it.
I don't even know which one takes 1st place for being the biggest, most annoying misconception so I am just going to put them all down and let you decide (easy way out). Soooooooo, for me, I think the one that annoys me more than any others, at the moment at least, is that because I am single, I have no opinion on things that relate to marriage and kids. As far as people are concerned, I neither have kids nor have been married so what do I know? Errrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm, excuse me, ever heard of the well of knowledge? *big Nigerian style hiss* anyways! their loss! my gain for future use when I am married and have kids.
Oh! Another one is that because I am single, I have loaddddddddddddsssssss of time and money on my hands. Obviously, with no man and kids to take care of, what could I possibly be busy doing? Obviously I must just be sitting around twiddling my thumbs with absolutely nothing to do *rolls eyes* and for that reason, why must I not come for every church programme or help every Kate, Shawn and Gbemi that needs a lift or help? Or why am I tired when I don't have a house full of man and kids to run? I don't even bother dignifying such comments with an answer anymore, there is no point.
Or that I am single and so there must be something wrong with me *confused face* how does being single automatically relate to having some hang up or fault? Oh! I almost forgot this one! You are single so you must meet this guy, he is single too and really wants to settle down, you guys will get on so well, let me give him your number. It doesn't matter whether or not said man can be dated by said person trying to hook you up (don't let me start my naija style hissing again).
The list could go on and on but let's just be civilised and keep it at this before you all think I am a bitter single person, Actually if you think that, you are entitled to your own thoughts. Who am I to enter your head and change said thought?
For those that think any of the above listed and those not mentioned about single people, please........give singletons the benefit of doubt. And if you can't, keep your opinion to yourself! Same way you don't want a single person telling you how to run your home or take care of your spouse is the same way we singles don't want your opinions on our lives and how we live or don't live it.
Monday 7 October 2013
My biggest fear of being single
I stumbled upon Mandy Hale's Single Woman 30 day blog challenge and today's question was just this: what's your biggest fear about being single? And I was like men, I don't have any fears jor, I am happy, fear is not my portion (feeling all holy and sanctified, lol), if I confess fear, it might make me less of who I am....blah, blah, blah.... You get the point.
But then I thought to myself, Bunmi stop using Christian epithets to cover the truth, you have fears and that is the truth. And I did some quick soul searching (as quick as you can get at 5:50am, lol) as the challenge is supposed to be all truth and no pretence.
And you know what, I am scared! May be not every day but once in a while, I get this slightly shaky feeling when I think of my single status. That feeling of am I always going to be single? Will my 30s roll by without marriage? Am I not going to get the joy of a loving, superbly handsome makes me giddy, puts butterflies in my tummy, annoys me but knows how to make up for it husband? Am I always going to be Aunty BumBum as my darling Praise and Nehemiah call me rather than Mama Kitty or Mother(in an exasperated British accent)? Am I not going to share my life's achievementsssssssss (the emphasis because I am going to have loads ;)) with my own family?
Those fears do tend to raise their ugly head once in while but guess what? I have found the perfect antidote to them. God. His love and reassurance and Word have me totally sold out on the fact that those fears are baseless. No matter how long (in my human estimation), I am going to have all those desires (especially my superbly handsome makes me giddy hubby) and more. Why? Because of Ephesians 3:20 and Jeremiah 29:11 (look it up ;)).
So when my biggest fears do show up and show up they will, I just say God's got this!
But then I thought to myself, Bunmi stop using Christian epithets to cover the truth, you have fears and that is the truth. And I did some quick soul searching (as quick as you can get at 5:50am, lol) as the challenge is supposed to be all truth and no pretence.
And you know what, I am scared! May be not every day but once in a while, I get this slightly shaky feeling when I think of my single status. That feeling of am I always going to be single? Will my 30s roll by without marriage? Am I not going to get the joy of a loving, superbly handsome makes me giddy, puts butterflies in my tummy, annoys me but knows how to make up for it husband? Am I always going to be Aunty BumBum as my darling Praise and Nehemiah call me rather than Mama Kitty or Mother(in an exasperated British accent)? Am I not going to share my life's achievementsssssssss (the emphasis because I am going to have loads ;)) with my own family?
Those fears do tend to raise their ugly head once in while but guess what? I have found the perfect antidote to them. God. His love and reassurance and Word have me totally sold out on the fact that those fears are baseless. No matter how long (in my human estimation), I am going to have all those desires (especially my superbly handsome makes me giddy hubby) and more. Why? Because of Ephesians 3:20 and Jeremiah 29:11 (look it up ;)).
So when my biggest fears do show up and show up they will, I just say God's got this!
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